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Thanksgiving is quickly approaching and this is the time when many American families extend a Thanksgiving dinner invitation to international students, scholars and their families to join them. These invitations usually come in the form of a written announcement or e-mail indicating the name of the event, the time, location and a request for a response. The term "RSVP" comes from the French expression "repondez s 'il vous plait", meaning "please respond". If RSVP is written on an invitation, it means that the invited guest must tell the host or hostess whether or not they plan to attend the dinner. It does not mean to respond only if you are coming, (the expression "regrets only" is reserved for that instance). In essence, all this formality means that the host/ hostess needs a definite head count for the planned event and needs this information by the date specified on the invitation. It is extremely important that you respond to the invitation as the host is trying to plan the menu. Unfortunately today, many people ignore or do not take the time to RSVP as requested. It is common etiquette to respond to an invitation that requests an RSVP, and failure to do so can reflect poorly on you and cause undue stress and problems for the who cannot adequately plan for the event. The host needs to order the proper amount of food, drinks, and other necessary supplies. If for any reason you cannot attend a function, common courtesy dictates that you inform the host as soon as possible or at least by the deadline date indicated on the invitation. After making the commitment to attend the Thanksgiving dinner, it is proper to bring a small gift for the host. The gift can be a bottle of wine, flowers, sweets, bakery products such as pies or cakes, A small gift item from your country is also acceptable. This action reflects very well on you as being a thoughtful and considerate person. However, I want to emphasize that you do not have to bring a gift but it is always "nice to be nice". Finally, assuming you had a marvelous time enjoying the food, the good company and the conversation, it is now time for you to send a formal "Thank You" note to the host. Even though you may have said "Thank You" a couple of times at the event, the most meaningful message you can now send is a simple written "Thank You" note to the host. The most important qualification of a "Thank You" letter is that it sounds sincere. You should use language and phrases most natural to you. When you write the brief note, don't exaggerate your comments or make it too "cheesy" or affectionate. This "Thank Note" does not have to be a lengthy letter but rather a simple thoughtful expression of how much you enjoyed yourself and appreciated the opportunity to attend. Remember it is the thought that counts in this situation. A note can go something like this: Dear Mrs. Autumn Blossom, I really enjoyed your Thanksgiving dinner last week and I want to thank you ever so much for inviting me. I had a very good time. Thank you again. Sincerely, This common courtesy reflects very well on you and the host will truly appreciate this gesture of your thoughtfulness. A "Thank You" note is not just limited to dinner parties. Anytime someone goes out of their way to do something for you or give you a gift, it is common courtesy for you to respond in writing that you truly appreciated their thoughtfulness. Bob Chudy